Sweetest Downfall
by Marlene82
Summary: As he got out he lit a cigarette and he suddenly heard a sound behind him. He looked towards the house and saw someone climbing down a tree next to the house. He went closer to see better when the person jumped down the last few feet. "Oh, hi!" It was Emma. "Could you, like, not tell anyone?" Completely AU with the characters from MSCL minus Angela but loads of Jordan
1. Come As You Are

_Disclaimer; I don't own My So Called Life or any of the characters you recognize. No copy-right infringement intended._

_A/N: I know that it's borderline heresy to write a MSCL fic without Angela but this popped into my head and I couldn't get rid of it. I wrote it quite some time ago and when I re-read it I liked it and thought it was wort sharing._

_It's obviously completely AU. I just love all the MSCL characters and wanted to mix them up with some of my own._

* * *

**Come As You Are**

_Come as you are, as you were,_  
_As I want you to be_  
_As a friend, as a friend, as an old enemy._  
_Take your time, hurry up_  
_The choice is yours, don't be late._

_-o0o-  
_

_Nirvana - Come As you Are  
_

* * *

Emma was standing in the middle of the hallway at her new school, trying to figure out where the hell she was supposed to go. She looked at her schedule and at the map they'd given her and she had no idea what so ever where she was or where she was supposed to go.

"Hey! Can I help you?" A quite cute girl with long hair and very grunge clothes, asked. "I'm Rayanne and you're new."

She smiled at her. "Yeah." She handed Rayanne her schedule and the map. "I'm Emma and I'm both new and lost."

"This is Ricky," she said, pointing at the Latino guy wearing a colorful vest. He gave her a shy smile and a careful wave.

"Hi Ricky. Thanks!" She smiled. "It kind of sucks being new." She was painfully used to it though but it never got any easier.

"Well, you've got English and History with Ricky. The Geometry and Social studies are with me."

"You never even go to class," Ricky said.

"Well, I know where the class rooms are, so I can show her," Rayanne answered as a matter of factually. "Oh, and creative writing in music is with Tino, so if we find him he'll show you."

"Wow, thanks!" That was a big chunk of her classes that she would find people to go with and Rayanne did strike her as the kind of girl who knew quite a few people.

"You play?" Ricky asked.

"Yes."

"What instrument?" Rayanne smiled while handing her the schedule back.

"My dad's a musician, so pretty much all of them. I've been playing for as long as I can remember."

"Wow!" They said while looking at her with big eyes.

"Like I said. It was a lot like learning how to walk in my house. Both my parents played so..." It wasn't bragging. Music was a big part of her life.

"You mom is a musician too?" Ricky asked.

"She was, she died when I was ten."

"Oh, sorry."

"It's ok." They started walking towards English. At least that's what she hoped they were doing.

Ricky brought her inside and she sat down in a bench next to him. She could feel all the others staring at her. The first week was always the first and the first day was a horror. Especially when the teachers were the kind that tried to fling shot you into to the social life of the school. And the big smile she got from the teacher told her everything, this was one of them.

"Well, we have a new student in class. Emma Jones, would you like to come up here and present yourself?" Actually, she would prefer not to, but she did anyway.

Jordan was late as usual and he opened the door in hope to sneak inside fairly unnoticed. He halted halfway in. A skinny blond girl was standing in front of the class and watched him with a crocked smile.

"Jordan, just sit down," the teacher said with a tired voice and he went to the back and did as she asked.

"I think that's pretty much it," the girl in the front said and started to walk back along the row of benches.

"Thank you, Emma."

She sat down just in front of him, he laid down his head on the bench and fell asleep.

-o0o-

It wasn't even lunch yet and Jordan was already bored to death. The only thing he had to look forward to that day was seventh period since he was meeting Cynthia in the boiler room. She had suggested it earlier and he had agreed in a heart beat. He hadn't gotten any in a while so it suited him just fine.

Tino came walking towards them next to a guy he didn't recognize.

"Guys, this is Ethan, he's new." He introduced them to him. "This is Jordan, Shane and Kevin. Ethan is a musician."

Jordan got interested. They needed a base player, the one they had quit a few weeks earlier and it was just as well. He sucked. "What instrument?"

"Pretty much any instrument, I grew up with instruments," he smiled. "It was our milk and cookies."

"Cool," Shane said. "Wish I had a family like that."

They talked for a while and Jordan decided pretty quickly that this was a cool guy. He was fun and had good taste in music. He was easy going and they got along.

"So, we're rehearsing at this loft, wanna come and try to play with us?" Tino asked.

"Sure. I'd like that," he nodded. "When?"

"Tonight."

"Gotta go find Rayanne, she left a note in my locker," Tino said and when Shane whistled he flipped the bird.

"Girlfriend?" Ethan asked once Tino had disappeared.

"Something like that, they fuck," Shane said. "She's nice and all, but crazy. Drinks like a fish."

"There's one in every school," Ethan shrugged.

"Gotta split," Jordan said after looking at his watch. He had shop and he didn't want to miss it. It was the only class he had a shot in hell to pass.

"Yeah, see you." Shane waved. "What's your next class?" He asked Ethan. Jordan didn't hear the answer.

-o0o-

Emma found Rayanne waiting by her locker.

"This is Tino," she said and pointed at a dark haired quite tall guy. "Tino, this is Emma. She's new."

"Hi, you're the guy who's taking the same music class as me?" Emma asked as she shook his hand.

"Yeah." He wrinkled his eyebrows and eyed her carefully. "Rayanne says you play a lot of instruments."

"Yes." She opened her locker to throw in some books and picked up the ones for music.

"That's funny. I met another guy today who said the same thing." He was still eyeing her with a slight smile.

"Ethan?" She smiled. She should have known, if there was a guy who everyone knew and who played in a band, Ethan would have found him. "He's my brother."

"Guess that explains it."

"I'll see you later," she said to Rayanne and Ricky and followed Tino to her next class.

Ricky had given her the basics about Tino and Rayanne, which also told her some about Rayanne. She was the crazy sligtly slutty girl of the school. They were usually a lot of fun so it didn't really bother Emma.

"Ethan said your milk and cookies was music and instruments when you were kids."

"It was. There was always a lot of instruments around and people who could teach us."

"Must have been nice."

"In some ways. In other ways it would have been nice to have normal parents who didn't move around the entire time. Or who remembered a parent meeting but it could have been worse."

She knew it sounded exotic to most other kids. To her it was just her life and it would have been nice with a normal family in some aspects. At the same time she loved her family and the people surrounding it.

They got to class, this was one of the reasons she had agreed to move to Three Rivers. This class seemed nice. Ethan had chosen to not take it, he assumed it would suck but she hoped it would at least give her a chance to learn something. It would at least let her write songs as a part of school work.

-o0o-

Jordan was at his locker again, talking to Ethan when the guy suddenly smiled. He saw Rayanne, that strange kid and the skinny blond girl from his english class coming towards them.

"Pixie bitch!" He yelled towards them with a smile. The girl laughed and screamed back at him.

"Bastard son!" She came up to them. "Met one of your new pals earlier. Tino."

Ethan just nodded.

"This is Rayanne and Ricky," she continued and pointed at the two people behind her. Ricky, that was his name, the weird guy. Ethan waved and then he pointed at him and Shane.

"This is Shane and Jordan." Jordan nodded at her. She was kind of pretty.

"So, did you have to get up and introduce yourself in any of the classes?" Ethan smiled while he put his arms around her shoulders.

"All of them. You?"

"None," he said with a smug face.

"I have to work on my menacing face. You just glare at them. The teachers wouldn't even dare to ask you."

"You're much to pretty and innocent for a menacing face."

"Great, you make me sound like a My Little Pony." She turned and looked at the clock. "I have to run."

"See you at home." Ethan kissed her forehead. She started to walk away. She had weird clothes, tight, black jeans and t-shirt, her hair was up in two big buns. The very tight jeans did however made her ass look nice, very nice, even.

"Girlfriend?" Kevin asked.

"What? No she's my little sister." That was it then to Jordan. He wouldn't hit on friends baby sisters. Shane had made it very clear that it was stepping over the line. She was pretty though. "Trust my sister to find the weirdest kids in school for friends." He said while looking at her as she walked away.

"Really?" Shane asked.

"Yeah. She's like a weird kids-magnet," Shane laughed. "Does Tino take that creative writing in music-stuff?""

"Yeah."

"That's probably where she met him."

"She plays too?" Jordan asked. In his experience the only thing chicks did was hanging around when guys practiced. They didn't play.

"Yup." Ethan nodded. "She's the talent." Jordan took a look down the hallway at that nice ass in the tight jeans. He wondered what kind of a girl she was.

-o0o-

Emma was sitting in the kitchen reading when Laura, their stepmom, walked in.

"Hey! How was the first day in school?"

"Ok, met some nice people. And Ethan is already in a band."

Laura just laughed. "I bet. Any cute guys?"

For a second, Jordan's face flashed through her head. But Rayanne had kind of warned her about him. Apparently, he was a boiler room kind of guy. This was after she had explained what the boiler room was. But he was cute, amazing eyes.

"Maybe, I don't know." She shrugged. "How's the new hospital?"

"Seems nice, well run. I think I'll like it." Laura sat down opposite her and looked at the coffee cup. "How's the sleep?"

"It's ok, not great but it's been worse."

"Let me know if you need pills."

"I don't like pills, you know that." Laura just nodded but Emma saw the worried look. Pills made her sleep but it was a bad kind of sleep and she didn't like it. It made her dozy the entire next day as well. Thankfully, the discussion was interrupted.

"My peeps!" Her brother yelled as he walked inside. Behind him was Tino, Kevin, Shane and... Jordan. Great! He introduced them to Laura who immediately started to make food. That was her reaction every time they brought friends home. No-one would ever leave her house hungry. That was her rule.

Their dad had met Laura about a year after their mother died, thanks to Ethan. She was a working at the ER and Ethan had broken his arm. Emma loved Laura, she had never tried to take their mothers place and that way, she did. She didn't intrude, but she was always there for anything they might need.

"Are you hungry, Emma?"

She just shook her head and collected her things. "I still have stuff to unpack," she said and walked upstairs to her room.

Jordan watched Emma as she left the kitchen. A second later Laura placed a plate full of food in front of him. This was a great place! Food! And good food, he noticed as he started eating. Laura sat for a while, talking to them and then she took off.

"So, she's a musician?" Tino asked.

"Laura?" Ethan looked surprised. "No, she's a doctor. She's my stepmom, my mom died when I was twelve."

They all stopped eating. "Oh, sorry," Tino finally said.

"It's ok." Ethan just shrugged. Jordan just looked at him for a while, wondering if he should say something but decided that he didn't want to. He could do it some other time.

When they finished the food Ethan got up and started to make coffee. When it was done he got put the pot on the table along with sugar and milk and then walked over to the stairs. "Pixie Bitch! Coffee!"

"Why do you call her that?" Tino laughed.

"Cause she looks like a pixie and she's a bitch. Well actually she looked more like a pixie when she was a kid. Tiny, skinny and pale white," Ethan explained as he sat down. "Everyone calls her Pixie. I just added the bitch," he smiled.

Emma came into the kitchen, her hair was loose in waves all the way down to her waist. He almost choked on his coffee. She sat down next to Ethan and laid her head on his shoulder.

"How you doin', Pixie?"

"I'm ok."

Laura came out just a second later. "Honey, more coffee?" She said with a frown.

"It's ok, Laura. I wouldn't have slept anyway," Emma said and got up and gave Laura a kiss on her cheek. Jordan found it hard to stop looking at her. Her long hair, blue eye and pouty lips.

What did she just say? She wouldn't have slept anyway? What did that mean?

He took a final look at that ass when she left. About half an hour later Tino, Kevin and Shane took off but he stayed and talked to Ethan. He was a really nice guy. Besides, he didn't want to go home yet. His dad had been drinking quite a lot lately. If he just waited a few hours he would be out cold and he could just lock himself into his room.

"I need to hit the sack," Ethan said about an hour later.

"Yeah, I'll see you tomorrow," Jordan said as he got up. "Thanks for everything, food and stuff."

"It's just Laura. It's like a rule in her life to never let anyone leave her house hungry."

As he got out he lit a cigarette and he suddenly heard a sound behind him. He looked towards the house and saw someone climbing a tree next to the house. But whoever it was, was climbing down, not up. He went closer to see better when the person jumped down the last few feet.

"Oh, hi!" It was Emma. "Could you, like, not tell anyone?"

"Where are you going?" Why was she sneaking out, was she meeting some guy? And why the fuck did he care?

When she got closer he noticed the backpack, was she even staying the night at some guys house? Was it even possible to not tell Ethan, it was his little sister? He would want to know if it was his little sister.

"Just to this café I found. It's open all night." She seemed embarrassed. "I... I'm an..."

"A what?" This was a weird conversation.

"An insomniac." What the fuck did that mean? Jordan had never even heard the word, but he didn't want to ask. He didn't want her to think he was stupid or something. "I can't sleep," she explained when he didn't say anything.

"Like... ever?"

"No, I sleep, just not very well, or very long." By the time she reached her bike he realized what she was up to. She was going to take the bike?

"I'll give you a lift." If he had a little sister he would have wanted his friend to give her a lift rather than bike around alone in the middle of the night.

"Nah, I'm good. I need to be able to get home as well." She got on the bike and took off. Jordan got into his car and went home.

His dad was passed out on the couch so he went up to his room and locked his door. He wondered what café she was going to. He hadn't heard of one that was open all night and even if he could sleep it would be nice to have some place to hang out and wait for dad to pass out.

-o0o-

Emma sat down with her coffee in a booth. She hoped that Jordan wouldn't say anything. Her dad would probably be ok with it, but Ethan and Laura was always all over her ass about not sleeping. Her backpack was full of school books, she took them out and started with the homework.

Four hours later she got up, she was tired enough to maybe be able to sleep a couple of hours now. She threw the money on the table and nodded to the woman behind the counter.

'Moon Mouth', she had a feeling she would be very familiar with this place. On her way home she allowed herself to think about Jordan. Her bike was her free zone, all those things she avoided thinking about any other time was allowed on her bike.

A boiler room-guy. She was not a boiler room-girl. She was a virgin, had hardly even been kissed. Falling in love was stuff she read about, but she hadn't really experienced it. If she would fall in love it would definitely not be with a guy who was a friend of her brothers. They stayed away from each others friends, that was the agreement.

By the time she got home she was so messed up again she went down to the basement. Their dad had built a studio there which meant it was sound proof. She sat down in front of the piano and started playing.

When she felt a hand on her shoulder she jumped and turned around. "Ethan! You scared the shit out of me!"

"Sorry. Can I sit?"

"Sure!"

"So, what do you think?"

"About what?"

"Three rivers."

"Seems ok. You?"

"Yeah, I like the guys I met." They started to play four hands, she was leaning against his shoulder. The guys, Jordan among them. "What about Rayanne and Ricky?"

"I like them. She seems a bit crazy. But I like them." She felt him kiss the top of her head. "Did you tell anyone who dad is?"

"No."

"They'll find out eventually, but I like it if they don't know to start with, you know."

He leaned towards her and kissed her cheek. "I know what you mean and don't worry. When we tell them we do it at the same time."

They sat and played for a long time and she finally started to feel sleepy and kissed Ethan as she left to get a couple of hours of sleep.


	2. Ask

_Disclaimer: I don't own My So-Called Life or any of the characters in the show._

* * *

**Ask**

_Shyness is nice and_  
_Shyness can stop you_  
_From doing all the things in life_  
_You'd like to_

_Shyness is nice and_  
_Shyness can stop you_  
_From doing all the things in life_  
_You'd like to_

_So, if there's something you'd like to try_  
_If there's something you'd like to try_  
_Ask me I wont say no, how could I?_

_-o0o-_

The Smiths - Ask_**  
**_

* * *

"You're staring." It was Shane, leaning next to him agianst his car.

"What?"

"At Emma, you're staring." Jordan tore his eyes from her and threw down his smoke. He turned to Shane who had a big smile on his face. It had been three weeks, and he knew he was staring, he just hoped that no-one had noticed. But of course Shane had.

"Doesn't matter, she's out of my league and a friends little sister. I stay away from those."

"Into her much?"

"Like I said. Doesn't matter." Even if he could be a boyfriend, he wouldn't be able to let anyone that close. There was just to much he wouldn't be able to tell a girl. And girls asked questions, he knew that. They all fucking did.

Shane laughed, "Doesn't change that you're into her." Shane knew him, there was no hiding stuff from him. The only thing he didn't know was about the reading. No-one knew that.

On his way inside, he passed Cynthia, "Sixth." I was all he said and it was all he needed to say. She'd be there.

During the lunch hour he, Shane and Ethan was sitting in his car, eating and smoking, when the door opened and Emma sat down in the passenger seat next to him.

"Ethan! Laura asked me to ask you to pick up the keys for the Volvo at the hospital."

Jordan noticed Ethan blushing, looking down on the floor and just mumble something.

Emma rolled her eyes. "Seriously, it's been two days! You can't keep doing this every time you see me!"

"Maybe you could have locked the door."

"I did! It's a shit door and you were very forceful. Come on! I'm your sister, it's not that bad."

"Oh, it's bad!"

"Geez, thanks!" She said while getting out of the car. "You just need to get laid." Then she slammed the door.

Jordan turned around. "What was that about?"

"Nothing." But he noticed him blushing again. Jordan kept looking at him.

"Come on," Shane was obviously as curious as him. Ethan blushing was not something they'd seen before.

"I walked in on her while she was taking a shower. Ok? It was... bad. And really fucking strange."

A thousand pictures ran through Jordan's head while Shane started to laugh.

"You walked in on your sister? So?"

"In the shower, she was... you know." Naked. A naked Emma, Jordan was very happy about meeting Cynthia during sixth, he had a boner.

"So? She's your sister. I've walked in on my sisters, it's not great, I mean, not that they're ugly. But it's just my sisters."

"I just think it's weird. And she screamed like crazy. Called me a perv. Like I did it on purpose." Jordan was rock hard but he still started to laugh and pretty soon Ethan did as well. "She threw a bottle of shampoo at me too."

Finally tears were streaming down their faces. "Perv., Shane said and Ethan shook his head.

The door flung open again and Rayanne jumped in. "Have you seen Tino?" She looked at them. "What are you laughing about?"

"Nothing," Shane answered. "And no, we haven't seen him. If you find him tell him we're looking for him too."

"Ok." She was on her way out. "By the way, Ethan, really? How pervy is it to take a sneak peak of your sister?" Rayanne laughed when she got out.

"Great, she's going to tell everone."

"Wouldn't worry to much about it. No-one pays attention to her anyway," Jordan said.

-o0o-

"I told your brother that he was a perv."

"You shouldn't have, he's barely been able to talk to me for, like days. It's annoying. I miss him."

"'Miss him'! Come on!"

"Shut up!" Emma threw her arm around Ricky. "You know what I mean."

"No, I'm an only child as well."

"So how are things with you and Jordan?" Rayanne snuck her arm around her waist.

"What?! There are no 'things' between me and Jordan. At all."

"Really! That why you keep looking at him with you big blue Bambi eyes?"

"Bambi didn't have blue eyes." She was trying to avoid the question.

"You like him," Ricky said firmly. "It's obvious."

"Doesn't matter. No messing with brothers friends."

"Pervy brother," Rayanne laughed.

Just before sixth Emma noticed Jordan going into the boiler room. She waited for a while and noticed a blond, very curvy girl that went down after him. 'Boiler room-guy' and that looked like a Boiler room-girl

Later the same day the girl walked by when she was standing with Rayanne and Ricky. "Who's she?"

"Cynthia Hargrove. Why?"

"No reason." She didn't want to talk about it.

"See her go down to the boiler room?"

"Yeah."

"With Catalano?"

"Yeah." Emma wasn't looking at them.

"You know it's just cause he needs some," Rayenne said with a smile. "Doesn't mean anything."

"So what? Like I said. No messing with siblings friends." It still stung a bit. Quite a lot even if she preferred to not admit that. Even to herself.

-o0o-

Emma parked her bike outside the café.

"Hey!" She said as she walked through the doors and put her backpack on the counter.

"Doing another all-nighter?" Macy asked. She worked most of the nights and was a really nice lady in her fifties.

"Nah, I've slept a couple of hours." Four to be exact.

"Want something to eat?"

"Not yet." She picked up the cup of coffee and walked over to her regular booth but halted on her way over there. Someone was sitting in it and as she came closer she saw who it was. It was Jordan.

"Hi?" She knew it sounded like a question but she was surprised to see him.

"Hey, what are you doing here?"

"I could ask you that. I'm a regular," she said.

Jordan looked at her, he should have known that this was the café she went to. He had finally found an all night café and had suspected it was the one she went to. And while he hoped it was, he also hoped it wasn't.

"So. Couldn't sleep?"

"No, you?"

"Just needed to get out." He looked at her, she had her regular tight jeans, t-shirt and a suit jacked. It was a Stooges t-shirt, really cool. "Why can't you sleep?" He regretted asking the second he did. And almost regretted it even more as she sat down opposite him.

"Why did you need to get out?"

He raised his eyebrows and shook his head. He got that, she might as well had told him it was none of his business. And it wasn't.

"Is this where you go, when you can't sleep?" Stupid question, of course it was where she went. That's why he'd gone there.

"Yeah." She said while searching through her bag. "I usually just do my homework, or read. It's the only night open place I've found. That's not a bar."

Read. Of course she did, she was a smart girl. He shook his head to stop thinking about it.

"Well, I should get going." No messing with friends baby sisters, and no thinking about what they looked like in the shower. Naked and wet and... shit, boner.

"Hey, you play guitar, right?" She said as he slid out from the booth.

"Yeah."

"I need musicians for this thing. In creative writing thing. Think you could help me?"

"Sure, but.. couldn't... I mean. Ethan plays."

"Oh, I'm going to ask him too, but I need him for base. Not sure I can find anyone else who can play the base the way I want it."

"Sure." He shrugged. If it meant Ethan would be there it would be ok, He guessed. "See you around."

"See ya." She smiled and when he got outside he watched her through the window. Picking up books and placing them all over the table.

-o0o-

Jordan was so fucking fed up with school he was seriously considering poking his eyes out. While leaning his head against the locker he listened to Tino and Shane discussing some chicks they'd met at Lets Bolt the day before.

'Thursday' he thought to himself, one more fucking day and then it's the weekend.

"Ethan!" He heard someone scream and when he opened his eyes he saw Emma running towards them with Rayanne and Ricky just behind. Her hair was down. Great, as if it wasn't bad enough already. Could she at least keep her hair up.

"What's up, Pixie Bitch?" Ethan asked when she reached him.

"I need your help. You know that music class in creative writing I'm taking. We're doing a love song and I want you to do a duet with me. I already have the song and you'll like it. It's not mushy or anything, oh and I'll need a drummer as well and you need to play base. Jordan is playing guitar."

Even though she talked faster than Jordan had ever heard anyone talk, he clearly heard that last part. He drew his breath when she said it and then Ethan turned around and stared at him. He raised his shoulders still holding his breath. What the fuck was he supposed to say?

Ethan turned back to Emma. "How many cups of coffee have you had today?"

"Just two," she said with a big smile. Rayanne held up her full hand behind her and mimed 'five' to him.

"Seriously, five?"

Emma turned around. "Rayanne!"

"He needed to know."

"When's the last time you slept?" Ethan seemed pissed and Jordan hoped it wasn't because of him.

He knew that she had been at the café the night before too. He hadn't gone inside but he drove by and noticed her sitting there.

"The night to yesterday."

"Really? What day is it today?"

She suddenly looked a bit insecure. "Wednesday?" She said it like a question. Ethan just shook his head again.

"Fucking hell, Emma, you need to sleep."

"I know. Will you help me? I can do puppy eyes." She looked at him with big eyes. Friends baby sister, Jordan repeated to himself in his head. _Baby_ sister.

"Fine, no mention of the word love, always or forever in the fucking song. Just show me the lyrics and I'll consider it."

"Will you help me with musicians as well?"

"Yeah, if you fucking sleep. No more coffee today. Keep an eye on her," he said the last part while pointing at Rayanne who just nodded.

Emma gave him hug and then took off with that long hair dancing behind her.

"Fuck! I have to go call Laura. She must have found some place to hang out." Ethan turned to him. "When did she ask you?"

"I met her at a café the other night."

"So you know where she goes?"

"Yeah."

Ethan gave him a knowing smile. Jordan chocked and wondered if he knew. That would probably not be a good thing. The bell rang and he exhaled. Ethan just shook his head."I've got film class. I need to go. We'll talk later." And then he took off.

Talk, about what? Oh, probably where she was going. At least that's what he hoped.


	3. The Passenger

_Disclaimer; I don't own My So Called Life or any of the characters you recognize. No copy-right infringement intended._

_Thank you for the favs and the follows!_

* * *

**The Passenger**

We'll be the passenger**  
**We'll ride through the city tonight**  
**See the city's ripped insides**  
**We'll see the bright and hollow sky**  
**We'll see the stars that shine so bright**  
**The sky was made for us tonight**  
**Oh the passenger

-o0o-

Iggy Pop – The Passenger

* * *

Emma ran through the corridor to her English class. She wasn't that tired but that was probably mainly due to the fact that she was too tired and had to much caffeine in her system. Fucking Rayanne telling on her. Ethan would be all over her ass now.

When she got throught the door she smiled at Jordan. Emma sat down and tried to get her hair out of the way. She had accidently broken the rubber band during the second period and had almost panicked when she couldn't find a new one. Rayanne had refused to give her one. 'You look dead hot with your hair out.' Ricky had nodded in agreement.

Jordan looked at Emma in front of him. When she tossed her hair out of the way he could feel the scent. It smelled amazing. Suddenly she started to wrap it around a pencil and finally used another one to attach it to her head. He hadn't even known that was possible. The next second he noticed what her neck looked like from behind, with loose strains of hair hanging around it. 'Fucking off limits' he reminded himself. Ethan would kill him. He would kill a guy like him if he even looked at his sister the way he looked at Emma.

Emma realized that she had used the two pencils she had to put up her hair and turned around to look at Jordan. She put it to excessive amounts of caffeine that she didn't stutter or started for minutes before she managed to speak.

"I just used up my two pencils, any chance you can borrow me one?" Those fucking eyes, they got to her every time. And the mouth and his hair and... pretty much all of him. She noticed that he was playing around with his ring as usual.

"Yeah." He gave her a pen and she turned towards the teacher again. Not that a guy looking like that would be interested anyway. She had never ever so much wished that she was a forward kind of girl when it came to guys. Or that she had some female forms to show off. Then maybe she would at least have tried. If he hadn't been off limits.

When the class ended she got up, packed her bag and saw Jordan leaving the class room. She ran after him and caught him in the corridor.

"Hey!" He turned around and she handed him the pen. "Thanks!"

"No problem," he just answered and took it. She watched him walking over to Ethan who seemed to be waiting for him.

Jordan swallowed as he approached Ethan, he hoped that this was about where she spent her nights and not that he met her there.

"Where does she go?"

"This café. It's called Moon Mouth."

"You met her there, is that when she asked you about playing?"

"Yeah, just... by accident. It's not like I _met_ her, you know." He was overdoing this. He knew it but he couldn't help himself. Ethan was a god guy and great in the band, they needed him.

"It's ok, Jordan." Ethan smiled. "Just... if you start something, be good to her. If you take her down to the boiler room and then stop talking to her, I'll fucking kill you."

"It's not like that." This wasn't good at all.

"Sure it is. I'm not blind. Just... be good to her or leave her alone."

Hang on, did he say he could... hit on her. Or whatever the fuck he... Jordan just kept staring at Ethan.

"What?" It was all he could think of saying. What the fuck was he saying?

"I get it, she's my baby sister and she's, well, hasn't really had a boyfriend and all that shit. You're into her. I know you are and you're like me with girls so just, don't do what you usually do. I'm not ok with that. If you treat her ok, are nice to her. I'm ok with it. But if you treat her like to treat Cynthia or Melissa or Kimberly or that blond one. I'll fucking kill you."

Jordan still didn't know what to say. "Ehhrm. Ok." Ethan raised his eyebrows. "I mean, I wouldn't do that. I mean, she's your sister and all and..."

"It's ok. I get it." Ethan closed his locker. "And if you pressure her in anyway to do shit she doesn't want to, I'll kill you as well." Jordan swallowed and nodded. "By the way, if you're planning on meeting her, by accident, at that café, make sure she eats something."

"Ok, I'll try."

As Ethan walked away Jordan leaned against the lockers. Did that just happened? Shit like that didn't happen. No guy would tell him that it was ok if he went after his sister. Would they? Unless they like... hated her. And Ethan didn't hate his sister. He loved her a lot. Why the fuck would he be ok with that? Then something else that he had said hit Jordan. She hadn't had a boyfriend? Was that even possible?

Fucking great, a friends virgin baby sister. Guys like him should stay far far away from those. And like Ethan had said, they were the same about girls why would he be ok with it?

Jordan didn't to girlfriends. Ever.

Shane opened the locker next to him. "What's up?"

"Just, fucking weird."

"What?"

"Ethan, I think he just said..."

"What? Is he quitting the band?"

"No. That I could... I don't know, hit on his sister or something."

Shane laughed. "It's kind of obvious that you're into her."

"Yeah but he knows me, why would he let me hit on her. I'm not... a boyfriend."

Shane shrugged. "Maybe because you don't talk about her like you do other girls."

"I don't talk about her."

"Exactly," Shane said with a smug smile and Jordan had no fucking idea what he meant.

Just then she walked by and he looked at her and as always, his eyes went down to her ass in the jeans.

"Has she used pencils to put up her hair?" Shane sounded confused.

He heard Shane's questions like it was far away, it took him a while but he finally answered while still looking after her. "She did it in English."

"Hook, line and sinker," Shane laughed as he walked away.

-o0o-

Emma was sitting at the sink in the girls bathroom.

"So what did he say?" Ricky asked

"Who?"

"Jordan, you talked to him in english."

"I borrowed a pen, that's all." She jumped down. "I told you, it's nothing. He's just my brothers friend."

"Suuuuure." Rayanne said while brushing her hair. "Is that why you can't stop looking at him?"

"You two don't get this! It's not going to happen. Even if he wasn't Ethan's friend... I mean. I'm not his type, I'm not a boiler room-girl and... well... I've seen some of them. They have like, curves or at least noticeable boobs. So. It's not going to happen."

"Whatever." Rayanne said and giggled. "We'll see."

-o0o-

Friday night at Lets Bolt. The whole crew was there, Ethan too. He had been kind of uncomfortable with Ethan since they talked the day before. How do you act around a guy who told you it's ok if you try to get into his sister pants. Cause he had to know that's what he was going to do, if he tried something. He wouldn't pressure her but he would try.

"Catalano! Look at that!" Jason yelled. He turned and saw Melissa on the other side of the room. She had her usual inviting smile. He turned away.

"Nah. I'm good." He couldn't fucking pick up a girl in front of Ethan now. He went outside instead.

"Catalano!" Rayanne came running. "Is Tino in there?"

"Yeah. Want me to get him?"

"That would be sooooo sweeeet of you." She was obviously piss drunk and possibly high.

"Are you here alone?"

"You mean, is Emma with me?" Fuck, did they all know? He didn't answer. "She's not. She was going home."

"I'll get Tino." Jordan didn't think she was at home.

He found Tino, followed him outside and then went to his car and drove to Moon Mouth. He saw her before he even got in. She was at her usual table and he watched her for a while. She had a cup next to her and was leaning her head in her hand while reading. Her free hand was playing with loose strands of her hair. Shane was right, he was so into her it was almost fucking ridiculous.

He tried to convince himself that it was a bad idea. If he didnt' want to be a boyfriend he should leave her alone and he didn't do boyfriend. Then he noticed that the cup was all she had and he had promised Ethan to make sure that she ate something so he stepped inside.

"Hey," he said as he sat down. An older lady came over and he ordered a coffee with three sugars.

"I thought you were going to Lets Bolt."

"I was there, not much going on." He answered. "Can't sleep?"

"No. As per usual."

"What are you reading?"

"A confederacy of Dunces." She smiled while holding up the book. It was a weird guy on it with a green hat and a bird on the head. "I like it, have you read it?" Shit, better leave the reading topic, as soon as possible.

"No." He looked over to the counter, the older lady was smiling at him. "Have you eaten?"

She looked at him carefully. "Has Ethan told all of you about his obsession with me eating?"

"Nah."

Emma looked at Jordan, shaking her head. "You're a terrible liar, Jordan," she smiled.

"So. Did you?"

"No." She turned around and motioned to Macy. "Can I have an omelet?"

"Sure thing, sweetheart. Anything for you, handsome?" Jordan's face when she called him handsome made Emma giggle.

"Eh, yeah, I'll have the same."

"So, what's you favorite book?" He looked like she had just asked him what his favorite poison was.

"I don't know. Haven't thought about." She left the subject, his reaction made her curious though.

They talked about music for a while. She was kind of confused about why he was there. When the omelette's came they ate in silence for a while.

Jordan looked at her. 'Favorite book'. He hadn't read an entire book in his life. But it's not like he could tell her that. When they finished she started to pack up her things. Was she leaving?

"I think I'll try to get some sleep," she smiled. She did that a lot, smiled, and it was... beautiful. That's what she was, beautiful, in the classic way. Not hot or pretty, or trash sexy like Cynthia was. She was just beautiful.

"I can give you a lift." He didn't want her to leave yet, he wanted to spend more time with her.

"I have my bike." She put on her backpack but she was still smiling. He could look at that smile forever. She had huge rings in her ears, silver. Around her neck was a leather necklace, almost like the one he had but there was like a tube hanging in it. A really msall test tube, it looked strange.

"You can put it in my trunk."

She looked at him for a while and he noticed that he was holding her breath. "Ok."

Emma watched him putting her bike in the trunk and tying it closed before they got into the car.

"This is a nice car."

"Yeah."

"Do you know much about cars?" Sometimes it was like pulling teeth to get him to talk and other times it was so easy.

"I work at a garage now and then."

"Oh, I didn't know that."

"Ever gonna tell me why you don't sleep?" She turned towards him and saw a slight smile on his lips.

"Didn't Ethan already tell you that?"

"No, he doesn't really tell stuff about you." She knew that he didn't but it was good to get it confirmed now and then.

"Good. Ever gonna tell me why you don't like to go home?"

"Who says I don't like to go home." He seriously didn't think she hadn't noticed that. That he hung around their house for as long as possible, stayed for dinner? He turned and looked at her then sighed.

Jordan wasn't sure what to do. This is why he didn't do girlfriends, they noticed shit like this. Apparently it was enough to hang around with a girls brother for her to notice shit. He sighed again.

"He drinks. My dad." She didn't say anything, just nodded.

"What about your mom?"

"She's dead."

"I'm sorry, Jordan." She sat quiet for a while. "My mom was sick for about a year before she died. She had cancer." He sat quiet and waited for her to continue. He wasn't sure why she told him that but he didn't want to push her.

She looked down at her hands. "The last months she was at home, she had all these machines connected to her, they beeped. I laid away at night, listening to the beeping, as long as it was beeping, I knew she was still alive. Then she died and I... just couldn't fall asleep anymore." She was still looking at her hands.

"I'm sorry." He wished he knew what to say and he wished he hadn't asked. He shouldn't have asked her to tell him that.

"Thanks."

When they got to the house Jordan got out of the car and started untying her bike.

"Hey!" He turned around and saw Ethan coming up towards him.

"Eh.. hey."

While he was trying to figure out if it was a good or a bad thing that Ethan saw him dropping of Emma, she walked up and gave Ethan a hug.

Still in his arms she said. "You stink." she pushed her nose to his shirt and inhaled. "Smoke and booze. And is that a hint of pussy?" Jordan couldn't believe her! He turned towards the bike again.

"Shut up," Ethan laughed. "Did you eat?"

"Jordan here reminded me."

"Good." When Jordan turned around to put down the bike he saw Ethan giving her a kiss on the top of her head. "You guys missed the planning. We're going to that masquerade dance at school in two weeks, all of us like a group. You in?"

"Sure."

"Rayanne and Ricky are coming as well so even though your my annoying baby sister you can come with us," he said turned to Emma.

"Ok." She let go of Ethan and came towards Jordan to get her bike. "I'll head inside. Thanks for the lift and for reminding me to eat," she said with a smile. That smile was just fucking awesome.

"No problem."

He watched her go inside, stealing a very quick glance of the ass and then turned to Ethan.

"Really? School dance?"

"Rayanne convinced Tino and that was pretty much it." Ethan lit a cigarette. "We're apparently going as killer clowns. That was Tino's only demand."

Jordan just shook his head. "Fine. I need to head home."

"Yeah, see you tomorrow."

Emma was looking through her window, she saw Jordan getting into his car and then drive off. About two minutes later there was a knock on her door and Ethan came in.

"You ok, Pixie?"

"Why shouldn't I be?"

"Just asking." He sat down in her bed next to her. "Talked to dad today, he's coming home for a quick stop in two weeks. Told me to tell you that he loves you."

"Thanks. Think we should tell them who he is, before..."

"I'll do it. You tell Rayanne and Ricky." He gave her a hug. "It won't change anything, not anymore."

She nodded, Ethan was right. "Did you ask Jordan to tell me to eat?"

"Yes, you need to eat if you're going to stay up most of the night." She curled up next to him and laid her head on his shoulder. "Besides, you like him."

"I do not!" She tried to protest. "And he's you friend, we stay away from those."

Ethan just chuckled. "We need to make killer clown costumes. That's what we're going as."

"Ok."

"Go to sleep, Pixie. Try at least."

"Can you stay with me for a while?" It was always easier to fall asleep if Ethan was next to her. It felt extremely childish but she couldn't help it.

"Sure." He laid down next to her and took her hand. "You're going to have to do something about it. Soon this sleeping next to you are going to have serious effects on my sex-life, and yours. Not even mentioning the incest comment it would get us if we told anyone."

"I don't have a sex-life."

"Well, I do, so..."

"Who was it this time?"

"No-one you know."

"One of these days you are going to fall madly in love with a girl who's just like you. It'll serve you right." She didn't like Ethan's sleeping around. And the company he kept here had made it even worse. "I'm going to be a Harlequin, checkered dress and evil make-up."

"Sounds good." Ethans squeezed her hand. "I'll just go for the nose."

"So boring!"


	4. Right As Rain

_Disclaimer; I don't own My So Called Life or any of the characters you recognize. No copy-right infringement intended._

* * *

**Right As Rain**

Tombstone and the damage done**  
**how beautiful the naked skin**  
**how beautiful it glows**  
**This is where the bleeding stops**  
**and this is what it shows**  
**It has turned into a scar, the same**  
**just the same, the same, the same

-o0o-

dEUS – Right As Rain

* * *

The two weeks had gone annoyingly fast and Emma had put off telling Ricky and Rayanne about her dad as long as possible. But now it was Thursday, the school-dance was tomorrow and her dad was coming home on Saturday. Both her and Ethan was going to do it during lunch.

"I need to tell you two something."

She was sitting with Ricky and Rayanne outside the school on a bench. They were eating the chinese that Tino had brought them.

"Is it about Catalano?" Ricky smiled.

"No! Please let that go."

"In your dreams lovergirl!" Rayanne laughed and they switched boxes.

"It's about my dad."

"What about him?" Ricky asked.

"He's famous, I never told you since..." She looked up and they both stared at her and she sighed.

"Since, what?"

"Well. I kind of wanted to make sure that you..." Emma hated doing this. It was usually ok once she had told someone, but the telling sucked.

"I get it. But we love you now and you know that so it won't change anything," Rayanne said and Ricky nodded. "Who is he?"

"Mark Jones."

They were quiet for a while, Rayanne figured it out first. It was quite possible that Ricky didn't know who he was. It wasn't really his kind of music.

"Wait, _the_ Mark Jones. From Guided from Above?"

"Yes."

"...Is your dad." Rayanne sat still for a while. "Oh. I remember reading that his wife died. So the song 'Little Motel' is about when he found out they were having Ethan?"

"Yes."

"And 'You're the good things' is about you?"

"Hrm, yes."

They both sat still for a long time, looking at her. "That's just fucking awesome." Rayanne laughed and then continued eating. "Think we'll meet him?"

"Well, he lives at my house," Emma smiled. "When he's not on tour."They took it well, people mostly did.

"You know that'll kill little Jordie, he's a huge fan."

"Ok, could we please just let that go."

"No way!" Ricky laughed. "We won't ask about your dad but we're gonna ask about Jordan."

-o0o-

Jordan kept staring at Ethan, they all did. Mark Jones. Fuck, she was Mark Jones' daughter. She was way out of his league.

"So we have a band member who's Mark Jones' kid?" Tino asked. Oh, yes, that too. That was pretty cool.

"Yes." Ethan nodded and kept eating. They kept staring at him for a while.

"That's really cool," Shane finally siad.

"Yeah." Jordan agreed. That was all they said. What else could they say? It didn't really change that much. Except that he now knew that Emma was even more out of his league than he'd thought.

"Does Rayanne know?" Tino asked a while later.

"She probably does now. Emma was going to tell them as well."

"Wasn't your mom a member of the band?" Jordan knew quite a lot about Guided from Above, he liked them and owned all their albums.

"Yeah," Ethan nodded. "They started it together."

"Here they are," Tino said and they turned to see Emma, Rayanne and Ricky coming towards them.

"Thanks for the food, Tino," Emma said as she sat down next to Ethan. She had a Black Flag t-shirt, Red Converse and those fucking tight jeans. He wished she would just once have some dorky t-shirt, like Take That or just something shitty. But she never did.

"No problem," Tino smiled. "You are a celebrity kid after all."

"Come on!" She looked uncomfortable but Ethan laughed.

"I'm kidding."

"Does every have their costumes done for tomorrow?" Rayanne asked and reached for Tino's food.

He did, he and Shane and fixed it. It wasn't much and he didn't look forward to a school dance. They had promised Tino though.

-o0o-

Emma looked into the mirror.

"You look hot!" Rayanne said and turned around in her costume. "What about me?"

"Very hot!"

Emma had a checkered dress that ended in the middle of her thigh and it was quite tight around the waist and chest. The hair was red in two big knots on each side of the head and black fishnet stockings. The Martens was on her feet and she did feel kind of hot to be honest. Rayanne had done the make up and she did look mean.

Rayanne had a cat suite harlequin black and red dress. She looked more crazy than mean but it suited her.

There was a knock on the door. "You two ready? We're heading out." It was Ethan and Emma opened the door.

"Yeah."

"Wow!" Ethan laughed. "Very nice."

They ran outside and saw Jordan and Shane waiting by the car.

Jordan almost swallowed his cigarette when she came running. Those fucking legs, and the dress, and the make-up. He had a boner, or more a full blown hard-on.

"Pixie!" He heard from a car that had just pulled up in front of his at the curb.

Emma halted and then the most amazing fucking smile spread in her face. "Dad!" She screamed and ran towards the man coming from the passenger seat of the car. Shit, that was Mark Jones! If the sight of Emma in a dress hadn't made him almost swallow his cigarette, this did. Then he realized that he would meet one of his favorite singers dressed as a clown. Awesome!

"How's the most beautiful girl in the world?" Mark said and lifted Emma into the air.

"I've missed you. You're early, you said you were coming tomorrow."

"We had to cancel a show. We'll be here until Tuesday afternoon," he said and gave Ethan a hug as well. "You look great, killer clowns?"

"It was Tino's idea," Ethan said and pointed towards them. Mark turned around and walked up to them with his arm still around Emma.

Jordan did his very best to not look at those legs, or eyes. Or pretty much anywhere on her. You couldn't size up a girl in front of her dad.

"Hey," Mark shook hands with all of them as Ethan introduced them. Then he looked at his kids again. "Is Laura at home?"

"Yes. She's getting ready with the candy," Emma said and hugged her dad again.

"You go out, I'll see you tonight." He turned towards the rest of them. "It was nice to meet you all. I've heard a lot about you." He kissed Emma's cheek, gave Ethan another hug. "I'm going to go find my wife," he said with a smile and walked towards the house.

They all stood silent for a while.

"Wow!" Rayanne finally said. "Ok! Lets hit the road."

-o0o-

The dance was ok according to Emma, the rest thought that it sucked so at half past ten they all walked through their front door.

"Not a cool school dance?" Her dad ask when he saw them.

"No," Ethan said and picked up some candy from the bowl in the hallway. "It sucked."

"I'll make some food." Laura mumbled as she went to the kitchen.

"I can totally see why you married her," Shane looked after her as he left and Mark nodded.

When they got into the living room Kyle and Jay was in the couch. They were the two singles in the band.

"Pixie!" They both yelled and hugged her.

"Where's Ethan?" Jay asked when he picked her up.

"In the kitchen. Laura is making food."

Jay picked her up, threw her over his shoulder and carried her to the kitchen but halted when he saw the rest of the crowd sitting around the dinner table. "Wow, are we having a clown party?" He said while putting her down on the ground again.

"It was a school dance. It kind of sucked," Ethan answered and gave Jay a hug.

"Good to see you, kid. How's the new school?"

"It's good," Ethan and Emma said simultaneously.

Thirty minutes later they were all eating. It was nice to have them back even if it was just for a couple of days. Emma had really missed them all and after the first awkward minutes her friends seemed to be more comfortable with them.

Jordan realized about fifteen minutes into the dinner that he was talking to Jay, the guitar player in one of his favorite bands. And it wasn't strange at all. He was a really cool dude. And the dinner was great, as always. He looked at Emma next to her dad, she really looked great in make-up, even if it was an evil clown make-up.

-o0o-

It was hard to imagine that as good as things felt on Friday night, just as bad was things less then twenty-four hours later.

He knew he had a black eye, swollen jaw and possibly some broken ribs. His dad had left him alone for years but he had flipped the day before when Jordan refused to give him money. He was sitting on the hood of his car outside a gas station, trying to figure what the hell he should do now. Going to that warehouse didn't seem like a great idea but it was probably the only option. Sleeping in the car could be ok but with a broken rib it sucked. It would make the pain even worse.

"Jordan?" He turned to the voice and almost freaked out when he saw Laura.

"Eh, hi." He didn't want her to see him like this. She was a doctor and she would know exactly what the bruises in his face was. She came up to him and he could see the second she noticed the bruises.

"What happened?"

"Nothin', just a fight." He jumped down from the hood and walked towards the drivers seat.

"Don't even try, Jordan," she said and caught his arm.

He had to run in to miss goody two shoes. Fuck! He turned towards her again. He fucking hated it, at the same time it was nice that someone gave a shit. He just wished it wasn't Emma and Ethan's stepmom. He didn't want them to know.

Laura looked at his face. "Anything else?" She didn't have a pity voice so he decided answer.

"Some ribs."

She nodded. "You can sleep at our house tonight."

"I'm fine, don't worry."

"Well, I do and unless you want me to sit up and worry about you all night you're coming with me." She glared at him. "I won't sleep and tomorrow I'll slip and hurt some kid while stitching them up. All of it your fault."

They stared at each other for a while but finally he gave up. "Fine."

When they walked into the house they met Ethan. "Oh, hey Jordan."

"Jordan is staying with us tonight," Laura said and Ethan raised his eyebrows but nodded.

"Cool."

He was really fucking uncomfortable with this. Shane and his family were the only ones who knew about this and even that had been weird.

Laura took his arm, pulled him into the bathroom and closed the door. "Take of your shirt and t-shirt."

He really didn't want to do that, at all. "I'm ok."

She looked at him. "Jordan, I've worked at an ER for years, I've seen some of the worst things parents do to their kids. No matter what you have you won't even make the top fifty of the worst cases I've seen since you're able to stand up."

He closed his eyes, sighed and did as she had asked him. She started to feel his ribs but didn't comment on the scars, something he was very grateful for.

"I don't think they're broken, and if they are it's not too bad." She stood up and looked at his face, touched him around the eye and on his jaw. "This will heal up as well, you'll have some interesting shades the coming days, but it'll be ok."

"I know," he said and pulled his t-shirt back on.

"Hey! Look at me!" She sounded pissed and he was surprised and did as she said. "You've got nothing to be embarrassed about." She still sounded pissed, no-one had ever said that to him in that voice. They've used the pity-voice but not this one. He liked this one a lot better.

"Ok."

"You're welcome to stay but if I find you in Emma's room after ten 'o clock you're out."

He flinched. Fucking hell was there anyone who hadn't noticed? "I wouldn't do that."

"I'm pretty sure that's what her dad said once as well." He didn't get that comment though and didn't know what to say and just left it. There was something else that he wanted to tell her.

"Just..." He wanted to tell her but he wasn't sure how to do it without sounding...

"Just say it. It's usually the easiest way."

So he just said it. "It's the first time in a couple of years. He flipped."

"Ok."

"I just wanted you to know, so you don't... worry. Or somethin'."

"I'll worry anyway and if anything happens again, or you just need to get away for a couple of day you can come here, Jordan."

"Thanks." He wouldn't but it was nice of her to say it.

Ethan was waiting outside the bathroom. "All ok?"

"Yes," Laura answered. "I'll make some food." He had heard her say that sentence more times than he could count. And he loved it.

When she left Ethan turned to him. "Your dad?"

Jordan decided that there was no way around this. "Yes, he drinks."

"Sorry, man. I didn't know. If you'd told me I would offered you to stay the night sooner."

Jordan shrugged. "He hasn't taken a swing at me for years. Besides, what could you do?" Then he realized something. "You really didn't know?"

"No. Maybe I should have figured out, but..."

"That's not what I meant, but Emma didn't tell you?"

"No." Ethan shook his head. "Emma keeps quiet about shit. Come on." He started walking upstairs and Jordan followed him.

He liked that, that she hadn't said anything. That she wasn't the kind of girl who gossiped about stuff. He hadn't seen her yet and he hoped that she wasn't at home. At the same time he hoped that she was, maybe in a pj. That reminded him...

"Laura said something strange, about your dad."

"What?"

"She, ehrm, told me that if she found me in Emma's room after ten I was out." Ethan laughed while they were still walking but didn't say anything. "When I told her I wouldn't do that she said your dad probably said the same thing."

"Dad was a friend of my uncles, he stayed at their house now and then since he had... he was like you. He knocked mom up when she was seventeen and grandpa found out he'd been sneaking into her room for two years."

Jordan blushed, oh, shit. And that was all he could think of saying. "Oh, shit."

"I'll get you a mattress and bedding. I hope it's ok to sleep in my room."

"Sure."

When Ethan had left the room Jordan sat down on his bed. This was odd. He had spent nights at Shane's house, he knew about Jordans dad but he had a big family and he didn't want to intrude anymore. He had never thought he would find other families like this.

He couldn't stop thinking about that comment though 'knocked up my mom when she was seventeen'. It must be a thing with this family, taking in stray kids.

Ethan came back with Laura behind him. Jordan helped her with the mattress.

"I put a spare toothbrush in the bathroom for you. I'm sure Ethan has clothes for you to borrow."

He needed to say something, he stood just in front of her. "Thanks, this is really nice of you."

She put a hand on his cheek. "No worries. I wish I could say you're the first kid we have here like this. And sadly, you're probably not the last. I don't know what it is with Ethan and Emma and making friends with kids like you," she said with a smile and then walked out.

He turned to Ethan. "Not the first?"

"Nah, it's usually Emma's friends though but we've had a couple of mine as well." Ethan shrugged. "I'll get the food Laura made."

Geez! So much for feeling special. Not that he minded. They probably wouldn't make a big deal out of it and that was better. He just needed some place to... unwind. Not that it was easy to unwind with Emma close by.

When Ethan came back he had coffee, some sandwiches and pasta. They talked, went out to his balcony for smokes and talked some more. Not about him, not about his dad and not about Emma. It was like a silent agreement.


	5. Dancing Barefoot

_Disclaimer; I don't own My So Called Life or any of the characters you recognize. No copy-right infringement intended._

* * *

**Dancing Barefoot**

She has the slow sensation that  
He is levitating with she ...

Here I go and I don't know why,  
I spin so ceaselessly,  
'til I lose my sense of gravity...

I'm dancing barefoot  
Heading for a spin  
Some strange music draws me in  
Makes me come on like some heroine

Oh God I fell for you …

-o0o-

Patti Smith – Dancing Barefoot

* * *

Emma was in the bathroom, she had actually managed to sleep for six hours. She always slept better when her dad was home. They had spent the evening in the studio and she planned to go back down there as soon as possible. She wanted Ethan with her this time though.

Suddenly the door yanked open.

"Fucking hell, Ethan! I told you to not do that," she screamed while throwing a hair brush as she turned around. It wasn't Ethan. "Jordan, what the fuck!" She screamed again as the brush hit him.

Jordan could hardly breath. Emma in panties and a tank top, then he noticed the brush flying towards him.

"Shit!" It was all he said and pressed his hand to his forehead. His face was not having a good weekend. The next second she was next to him and he could smell her hair. She was still in just her panties and tank top, her hair draped around her. His forehead wasn't hurting anymore and his seventeen year old dick did what it always did when she was around.

"I'm sorry. The lock on this door is shit and..." She went quiet, stared at him and he felt her hand touching his jaw. "Shit! What happened to you?"

"I'm ok. Sorry about the door."

"Did you throw something at him?" He heard Ethan behind him. "Sorry, man. I forgot to mention that the lock isn't really working."

"I'm fine. It was just a brush." She needed to get out of here. Just as he thought things couldn't get worse, Mark came towards them.

"What happened?"

"He opened the door and Pixie Bitch threw a brush at him."

"I thought it was you," she said with a frown still looking at him.

"Wow, thanks, that makes me feel so much better," Ethan laughed. Jordan just tried to look at anything but Emma which was hard considering how close she was.

"Get back in there," Mark said to Emma who, thankfully, did as she was told. When she was gone he turned towards Jordan and took a closer look on his forehead. "You'll be fine. Don't think your face could get any worse right now anyway."

"Probably not."

"Come on. I'll make you breakfast."

It was a surreal feeling to sit in a kitchen and watch as one of your idols was make you breakfast. The fact that you still had somewhat of a boner after seeing his daughter in underwear didn't make it any better.

"So, your dad's a drunk?" He asked as he put the breakfast on the table.

"Yeah."

"Know the feeling, I'm sorry, kid." Jordan just nodded. There wasn't much to say and this guy probably knew it better than most. "I know you probably don't want to do it often but you're welcome to come here and wind down now and then."

"Thanks. Laura said the same thing."

"Just don't pull too hard in the bathroom door." Mark smiled at him.

"I'm really sorry about that."

"I know."

Mark looked at the boy in front of him. Blushing, probably still with a boner. He could see why Emma liked him, it was a full blown Electra complex. He shook his head. History had a way of repeating itself and karma had a tendency to slap you in the face. He had been in this kids shoes and he ended up falling madly in love with a girl and got her pregnant. It wasn't something he regretted in any way, but he really didn't want that to happen to Emma. Two kids before she even hit twenty wasn't something he would recommend to any woman.

He would prefer her staying a virgin until she was 30 and marry a nice, well adjusted lawyer or something. Maybe not lawyer, but an accountant. Not take on a messed up kid. But it wasn't her style and he knew her well enough to know that it didn't matter what he said. She would do what she pleased anyway.

Ethan had warned him on the phone, said that Emma seemed to like this guy. That he was the kind of guy that slept around, drank and skipped class. Pretty much a guy like him or Ethan. Apparently Ethan had a talk to him so he wasn't going to repeat it. Laura had warned him yesterday as well.

Emma came into the kitchen, thankfully fully dressed now. "I'm heading down to the studio. I've asked Ethan to come with me."

"I'll see you down there" He said and noticed her looking at Jordan. When she was gone he turned to Jordan. "So, Ethan says you play."

-o0o-

It had been one of the best Sundays he could remember since his mom died. They had spent most of the day in the studio, just jamming. He had been jamming with fucking Mark Jones! How awesome was that?

They had practiced the duet Emma was going to do with Ethan and finally had called Shane over so he could learn the drum parts. It was a great song and she knew exactely how she wanted it to sound. Down to the last hand clap.

She was good and he was kind of pleased that this meant he could look at her a lot. She was talking to them, showing them and seemed more comfortable than he had ever seen her. She blew him away and he had at least half a boner the entire day. And then they recorded it, it sounded fucking great.

Emma watched Jordan, he had a black eye and bruised jaw. When Shane came he didn't even comment on it so she assumed that it was something that had happened before. He also had a mark on his forehead from the brush. She felt very embarrassed about that, that he had seen her in just her underwear, it wasn't like she had much to show off but he'd probably noticed that before.

She was pleased about the song though, it turned out great, just as she had imagined it.

In the evening she took a shower and the brought the brush into Ethan's room.

"Watch out, she's armed!" Ethan said as she walked inside.

"Very funny."

"I thought it was."

"Shut up and help me instead." Her hair was too long and she needed help to untangle it. That had been Ethan's job since they were kids. She probably could do it by herself by now, but this was one of their moments and she liked it.

Ethan backed up against the wall in his bed and she sat down in front of him. "Did you. Like, rub the shampoo into you hair? It's like a fucking birds nest back here."

"Don't know. I did what I usually do," she said and tried not to look at Jordan. "Thanks for all you help today, both of you. It turned out great. Sure you're not uncomfortable with singing a love song with your sister?"

"Nah, you know what they say. Nothing like a little incest."

"Ewww, Ethan that's just... ewww." She shrugged and Jordan started to laugh.

Jordan looked at her, again, there was just no end to how much he looked at her. Right now, he really envied Ethan, he could smell her hair over to where he was sitting and he would love to brush it. How gay was that?

He heard footsteps in the stairs and the door swung open. It was Rayanne and Ricky.

"Yo! Oh, hey Catalano. What happened to you?"

"Nothing."

"Ok. Listen Pixie, I've got the best plans."

"Not sure I want to hear this," Ethan said.

"Sure you do." Rayanne threw herself next to them in the bed and Ricky sat down in an armchair. "It's about her hymen."

Hymen? What the fuck?

"We are not going to talk about that!" Emma screamed and was suddenly scarlet red. Jordan didn't want to hear about that either and Ethan just stared at Rayanne.

"Are you for real?" Ethan finally managed to say. "I don't want to talk about my sisters hymen, or anything in that general area on her!"

"Nice to know you avoid that area on at least one breathing female," Rayanne smirked. "Anyway, this guy I met yesterday outside Lets Bolt asked me about Emma, he seemed really into her."

"I don't want to know!" Emma literally cover her ears. Jordan wanted to know who the guy was and just... punch him!

"Me neither!" Ethan said but just kept brushing her hair.

"Are you brushing her hair?" Rayanne suddenly noticed. "Awww, that's so sweat. He was kind of cute, Emma. I think you'd like him. Why is there a mattress on the floor?"

"Jordan is staying here for the night," Emma answered.

"Some quality time for the cute couple, finally out of the closet?"

"There wouldn't be a mattress there if we were, would it?" Jordan laughed at Ethan's quick come back.

"I'm not interested," Emma said.

"Of what?" Rayanne asked.

"The guy."

"He was really cute," Ricky joined the conversation. "I saw him too. And he did ask a lot about you."

Jordan felt like he was about to burst. Who was the fucker? "Anyone we know?" He asked.

"Haven't seen him before." Rayanne shook her head. "Tall, blonde, german jawline."

"German jawline?" Ethan looked confused.

"You know, wide, manly jaw." Rayanne said while extending her jaw.

Ethan stared at her. "All I'm seeing in my head is a blond gorilla."

Emma couldn't believe they were having this discussion. About her 'hymen'.

"Still not interested, like, at all!"

"Really cute, Pixie." Rayanne said and moved very close to her. "Told him you usually hang at Moon Mouth, so you might meet him there."

"Rayanne! You didn't!"

"She did," Ricky nodded. "He was very much your type."

"You don't even know my type!" She was about do die of embarrassment right now. This was not happening. Rayanne did not just tell her that she had told some guy about Moon Mouth, it was her place during night!

"Done!" Ethan said and gave her the brush.

"Why aren't you protesting? I'm your sister."

"It might keep you away from Moon Mouth during night."

"Really! That's all you're going to say?"

"Anyway, that was all I wanted to say. Gotta blaze." Rayanne said and got up, gave her a kiss and then she got one from Ricky as well.

"Bye." When they were gone the turned and looked at Ethan. "You fucking suck as a big brother, you know that?"

"It was already too late, what did you want me to do?"

"You could have scolded her!" She said and started to walk out of the room. "This sucks!"

She couldn't believe Rayanne, giving away her place to some guy. And talking about her hymen, in front of Jordan! It's not like she was the only fifteen year old who was a virgin.

Jordan shook his head. He didn't want to think about it. That some other guy could touch her, even some other guy thinking about her.

-o0o-

He woke up in the middle of the night, his mind immediately went to whoever that fucking guy was. Probably sitting at Moon Mouth, waiting for her. Since he was in need of the toilet he got up, put on the jeans and a t-shirt and walked out to the bathroom.

The light was on downstairs so he went down to the kitchen to get some water. He heard music from a room and opened the door. It was Emma, listening to Iggy Pop, humming along to 'The Passenger'. It looked like a library and she was sitting curled up in a huge armchair.

He took a few seconds to decide and then he went inside. "Hey."

When she turned around she looked stunned and then that amazing fucking smile spread in her face. "Hey. Couldn't sleep?"

"No, I could ask you but I know you hardly ever can." He sat down in the armchair standing next to hers.

"Actually, I sleep better when dad's home. I think I'm mostly upset about..." She blushed. And she had her hair loose. The combination was It fucking killing him!

Emma looked down at the floor and when the song and the stereo started to rasp to indicate the were at the end of the album, she got up to turn the stereo off. Then she got back to the armchair.

"I should probably go back to bed, before Laura or you dad finds us here." She assumed that her dad was slightly nervous about Jordan. She doubted there was any need for it but she could see why he would be. He had fucked up pretty royally in the same situation. Literally.

"Yeah, I need to get to bed as well." As she stood up she realized that Jordan was right in front of her.

Jordan cursed violently inside his head. That fucking hair, and the smell from it. That's what he blamed later on along with those eyes that he in that moment realized wasn't blue. They were gray and they moved his chest and then stared straight into his eyes. Not even mentioning those fucking pouty lips. He was a seventeen year old guy for fucks sake, he'd had a hard-on because of her most of he day and this was just too much!

Emma couldn't take her eyes from him and when he put his hand on her cheek she couldn't breath. As he moved closer she was damn sure her heart would either burst or just stop beating all together. And then his lips was on hers.

Jordan tried to take it calm to not startle her. So he carefully tasted her lower lip and the slight moan that escaped from her encourage him to put his other arm around her waist and pull her closer. At this moment he didn't give a fuck that her dad could step in at any second.

Emma was almost afraid to move in case it would break the spell and that he would stop kissing her. When she felt his tongue against her lips she opened her mouth to let it inside. The sigh from him calmed her down and she put her arms around his neck, pulling him even closer. Was this really happening? Was she making out with Jordan in her library? Did he have his arm around her waist and a hand behind her neck?

She tasted fucking amazing, like oranges and coffee. The tongue that came probing into his mouth almost made him come in his pants. He was fucking kissing Emma! She had her arms around his neck and her tongue in his mouth! This was better than any fuck he had ever had. The stomach against his dick felt better than any pussy it had been in. It was fucking ridiculous how turned on she got him.

Emma felt him against her stomach, she would have thought that it would scare her but it didn't, she even pressed herself against him to feel it better. When he moved his hand down to grab her ass she thought she would faint. That's how good it felt.

Jordan couldn't believe it. He had his hand on that amazing fucking ass. He repeated it to himself. He had his hand on that amazing fucking ass.

Then it stopped. A sound from the upper floor made them practically fly apart. Jordan watched her touch her lips and then smile at him. He was panting as hard as she was, if anyone came in there would be no questioning what they had just done.

"I'm sorry," he finally said. But he wasn't.

"Don't be," she smiled. "We should..." She pointed towards the door.

"Yeah." He couldn't even remember the last time he was this rock fucking hard. "Listen..."

She interrupted him. "Don't, please, don't... ruin this for me," she said and he had to repeat it to himself a couple of times until he realized what that meant. She had liked it and didn't want to ruin it by talking. He could live with that. He even preferred that.

He looked at her again and then went up to her, leaned over and gave her a careful kiss again, just a peck this time. "Ok."

When Jordan had left the room she sat down again. Did that just happened? If her lips hadn't been felt swollen and sore she would have swore that she just had imagined the entire thing. She didn't want to hear his excuses to why it happened. She wanted to pretend for at least some time that it had been more than just a heat of the moment kiss with his buddies little sister. And was she supposed to be able to sleep now?


End file.
